brownies and the super bowl...

manifestation - that act of controlling and "summoning"...

I'm not always hip to things. Sometimes I SWEAR that my day is going to be terrible when little things all around me are pointing the opposite direction. Yesterday, I started to feel sick. Frustrated, I cleaned and rested and planned on dying that day. I planned on just wallowing in my whathaveyou and letting the day go by. Then I was convinced to wake up, get dressed and start baking. We baked brownies, cookies and talked. I got dressed and we went out. I got to another friend's house and were started cooking. We brought food over to a party, shortly after. Mind you, this party is often pretty awkward between the extreme parental supervision and the sheltered private school students. Still, we went and had as good a time as we could. By the third quarter, I had consciously told myself that I was going to enjoy the rest of night. Then, out of the heavens appeared the only shape I pray to. PETERRR!!! He's my best friend and we met a year ago yesterday at the same place. We hung out for the rest of the party. We drove around till he dropped me off home. Great night, I would say.

We have so much more control then we admit to. Some of us reject our powers and go with the flow. I choose to make my own reality. If you speak, it shall be. I believe that if you give in to beauty and happiness it will give in to you. Give in. It'll make your life better. Give in to happiness and beauty.

beGolden

Jahmal

Luck is Fool's Gold.

delusive - giving a false or misleading impression...

My midterm period is over at last!! C: It feels good knowing that it is out of the way and such. I didn't do too well on my Economics Midterm, but I tried. I put a lot of effort into studying and focus and it didn't cut it. I suppose that that's life. At least I relied on myself and my abilities. A few people cheated. Some cheated more boldly than others. None were caught. What's worse is that some people left their success in the hands of luck. In the words of successfully "ghetto fabulous" girls all over, "boo, boo...no."

We rely on our abilities to accomplish little things. For example, we rely on our linguistic abilities to get us out of problems, to create opportunities, to comfort, to defend. We rely on our memories to move in the dark, to find our way home, to cook our favourite foods. If we relied on luck to move in pitch black, we'd fall and scrape our knees. Luck is for the weak-minded and the sloth. To get what we want in the word, we must put in effort. The world is equivalent exchange...What we put forth, we will receive and other similar lessons power our passages through life. Depend your abilities, work for what you want and make sure that you put in as much effort as possible.

beGolden

Jahmal

your lying eyes...

optical illusion - you should know what it means. If you don't, it'll be explained below.

I was sent a link to a page of impossibly difficult optical illusions. Some things appeared flat that weren't. In fact, they were very 3D and made you feel stupid when you finally adjusted your eyesight and understood them. Needless to say, this seems to apply to a lot of things in reality. Some things appear differently than they are until your eyes adjust. Some of us get caught in the optical allusion that life can be. We look at situations as if they were flat as cardboard when, in fact, they are completely topographic; hills, mountains, valleys and all.

Tilting your head just a little bit can make

all the difference. We let in more light when we remove our hands from out eyes. Try looking at it another way because some things aren't as flat as they appear. Try looking at it another way. It can drastically improve your perception of life, ultimately making you happier and making oth

ers happier in the process.

beGolden and open

Jahmal

letting people go...

traverse - to travel or move.

Of late, I've been obsessing over a friend of mine. Recently, he indirectly revealed to me that he often isn't in the mood to be around me. If I had known, I think that a conversation would have been had earlier. Alas, I didn't know. He ignored my calls I assume because he knew that I knew how he felt. He cut off communication all together. I'm sort of over it. I tried to cling onto what memories and good experiences I had with this person, then I found myself recalling the times that I didn't enjoy his company. Never have I felt so strongly that I needed to tell someone, but I have felt annoyed when around him sometimes. I suppose we're both at fault, but that isn't the moral.

Though it is IMPERATIVE to own what part you take in issues an so on, there is something to be said about moving on. If someone wants to leave your life, temporarily or permanently, let them. It's a waste of energy clinging to people who have no desire to be near you. Sure, at any point, my friend could approach me and ask for us to be friends once again. Then I have a choice to make. Do I want to forget and move on with my life, embracing someone who has the potential to hurt me, or do I acknowledge the emotions I felt during his absence and reject him. It can be seen as vindictive, but what's wrong with holding grudges. Sometimes, forgiveness doesn't mean amnesia. Think about it.

beGolden

Jahmal

How Hamlet Actually Changed me...

Faculties - an inherent mental or physical power...

I was watching the movie Coraline yesterday. Mind you, I've read the book like 4 times and

I loved it soo much. The movie, however, was crap. It looked nice, but it didn't follow enough of the book. They made a new character...he's black, quirky and awkward....yup. Anywho, there came a part when Ms. Spink and Ms. Forcible were doing an acrobatics whathaveyou. While doing so, they were reciting something. I looked up the line, "How infinite in faculties." Turns out, it's a part of Hamlet. Hamlet goes on about how great Man is. The piece is brilliant! If you want to, google What a Piece of Work is Man and read the whole thing. It celebrates humans and how beautiful and complex they are. Then, you might be compelled to think the following...

We are very incredible and complex creature. With our reason, our beauty and our faculties, we are a paragon, a symphony of color and perfection. Why should we be tainted by things so trivial as the artificial. Find your inner beauty. Find your inner paragon. Read Hamlet! : P Just kidding...you don't have to torture yourself. Still, believe in the power of your culture, your people and just people in general.

beGolden

Jahmal

An ode to one's self...narcissism or band aid?

narcissism - personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness.

Today, I was reading an ode to Imr El - Qais, an early arabic whore. The author wrote an extremely long poem about this man and his hoe-ish escapades. Needless to say, it was intriguing. As a completely unrelated comment/observation, the poem got incredibly hard to follow as Imr El - Qais began using simile to show his greatness. Very precise and interested images were made, but they were also really odd. Anywho, then I come to find that the author is Imr El - Qais. As an assignment, the class was to write an ode of one's self. Some found this exceedingly difficult while others started immediately. I didn't write myself and ode, but I started writing notes about the idea of writing an ode to one's self. Is this a narcissistic practice or something like holding a mirror to one's face?

Write yourself an ode. It shouldn't be difficult because it's YOU that you're writing about. It isn't egotism. It's just something beautiful that will help build your confidence. If you can write about your beauty, then you don't need anyone else to. Sure, it's nice to here it from others, but it's YOU that you'll have to live with forever. Know how beautiful and sacred you are. Write yourself an ode. Take a picture. Draw a portrait. Do it for you! It isn't narcissism...It's love.

beGolden

Jahmal

stop defining it all...

explication - a detailed explanation of something.

It started to snow on December 1st this year. As a result, winter had started. People had pulled out their coats and stocked up on wool socks and cocoa. Garth Fagan home-season started and the performances were nightly. People got dressed in their favorite clothes and others bought new things to rarely wear after. These events have something in common. They were the most predictable and expected events of December for Rochester. The snow always comes early and stays late. The Fagan dancers always rock the house receive the praise they deserve. All people had to do was watch these things happen and be happy.

Humans don't always function they way they should. While watching the snow fall, people were wondering when it would end. Already, homebodies were wondering if a snow day would come and when Christmas break was. While watching Garth Fagan's brilliant choreography, select audience members where wondering what each movement meant. Critiquing and pondering, I doubt these people were honestly enjoying themselves. Those who question the mortality of snow fall in Rochester will NOT have a pleasant winter.

What's beautiful about snowfall and Garth Fagan dance is that it doesn't need a reason. The beauty int he two is that it's beautiful. If you stop thinking and enjoy, you'll really have fun. I'm always moved by winter and dance because it isn't definable. It's movement and chaos and beauty somehow. Like poetry. Stop defining. Just be taken by the beauty, k? Start to feel and enjoy the place you're at in life. If you keep questioning and critiquing, you'll miss something. Everything can happen. Don't mess a drop.

beGolden and enjoy.

Jahmal