...I'd rather have him happy. Dear mother.

Motherhood - the kinship relationship between an offspring and the mother.

I used to be the most hyper, excited, happy, touchy-feely, HYPER kid ever. Lots of people loved me for it. I was known by most as the one that wouldn't sit down to save his life. I enjoyed being bubbly most days. There's a thing about me though...I used to be either ecstatic or depressed. If something would get in the way of my happiness abruptly, I didn't know how to handle it. Some of my teacher couldn't my hyper ways...One day, a teacher sat next to my mother I complained about the way I wasn't calm all the time. Mind you, I also went through a long time of depression after being told that I was too hyper and too loud and I talked too much and different and...It was crippling. My mother knew this of course...She knew how fun I was and how depression was for me. So she said...I'd rather have him happy than depressed. And that was that....Dear Mother,

I understand how I used be very different. My emotions were often unstable. I was either HAPPY/EXCITED/HYPER or depressed/sad/angry/upset. My mother would get frustrated with it too, but she knew how crucial it was for me to be happy. I'm fortunate to have a creative, educated, hard working, accepting mother. People everywhere, my mother is the greatest. I'm glad I have her and I'm glad I have her and I'm glad she's there for me. I can only hope that you have someone like that in your life. Everyone's different...Everyone's weird...There will always be someone who loves you even with your faults.

beGolden and happy

Jahmal

Drama fo yo mama...Please keep me out of it.

expendable - Unnecessary...

SOOO...There's someone mad at me right now. Yesterday in a class, two friends and I were talking about a father who we, jokingly, said was gay. We were highlighting all the signs...laughing, havin a good time, ya dig? Then, a girl said something like "Lets not talk about gays again. I'm sick of this topic." Mind you, the last time we talked about gays, it involved one of the "uncomfortable" girl's friends. He came out recently and everyone knew he was gay based on FACTS like, he never kissed one of his "girlfriends" and he was grossed out by heterosexuality. Everyone knew, but she thought that it was unfair to say he was before he came out. Me, being an expert on homosexuals at this point, was appalled by her ignorance and let it go. Also, note that she wasn't apart of the conversation at hand, so it really should disturb her at all. Otherwise...She was being overly dramatic and opinionated. Anyway, I just let her go on and another friend of mine to her left chimed in with a few "right"s and a few "exactly"s...So, I gave her the "bitch, please" look and continued with my day. Today, this girl, who was butting into a conversation with unnecessary comments and jeers saw me and demanded I get her a poptart from where I was getting one. I dropped the grudge after leaving school...But, jokingly, like always, I said "Get it yo self FOO". I chuckled and told her that there was only one...She just stared at me. I didn't really care...So I offered her some cookies that WERE there. She stood up and walked away. I called her name several times, confused, and someone said "He's TALKING to YOU" and she said, "I KNOW!" So here I am...And here's what...

I got to an arts school...I'm VERY used to drama. But sometimes...LEAVE IT ON STAGE. Sometimes, drama isn't necessary...being a jerk just for the sake of making a point is not a smart tactic ever, actually. So, if you're reading this, my good friend, sometimes it isn't that serious. Everyone...Be yourself and stop letting small things affect you. For Christ's sake, don't jump into stuff that doesn't concern you. Avoid drama like the plague...

BeGolden

Jahmal

To those that might recognize this happening...I'm sorry I offend you...if that's possible. Love you S.E.M. and A.W.E.

sometimes it isnt you...taking pride

pride - a sense of ones worth...self-respect

I've been told that it was me for a lot of my life It was me that brought these unfortunate happenings on myself. It was me that made myself upset. People around me always denounced their roles in making me a worse person. People far stronger than me have crashed under this weight. It isn't foolish of me to expect more than i receive though. I've often been the victim. It's a frustrating thing to admit. Then I'm told not to own such a label. I'm not supposed to ever feel victimized. No one is, apparently. I guess it's foolish to be victimized then feel victimized. I've been that it was me for a lot of my life. You probably have too...But here's what...

It isn't always you. It isn't always your fault. It isn't always in your control. Don't be afraid to let it show sometimes. Don't be labeled and don't let anyone tell you how you're supposed to feel. You, I and everyone is beautiful. Take pride in you and all that you are. Don't feel like a victim of the world. You, I and everyone can grow past that and more. Take pride in you.

beGolden and proud.

Jahmal

and ya look GOOD...Doin it for you.

Narcissism - inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.

Most people view narcissism as this excessive, negative love for ones self. BONK. To be narcissistic in a humble manor is a GREAT thing. This is gunna be a short post.

I spent a lot of last night writing and doing some work. I took a shower. I ate great food. Then I planned an outfit for today that made me happy and made me look and feel good. I put it on this morning, look at myself in the mirror...I look stunning and I really DO love myself. Before writing this post, I class for a good word for the opening and they said, Narcissism. Again, I say BONK. I love myself. I love myself because I didn't always love myself. I love myself because if YOU don't love YOURSELF...than who will? I mean, really? So...Here's what.

I love myself. I dress nicely for myself. I go to cafes for myself sometimes! Its good to just do for YOU. Its good to do for others, but you are the most important person in your life. Love yourself. You're ALLOWED to be narcissistic. So do you. Be happy. Love you!
beGolden
Jahmal

Logo-rama...blaming the media

advertisement - A notice, such as a poster or a paid announcement in the print, broadcast, or electronic media, designed to attract public attention or patronage

Go to youtube and look up Logorama. Try and find the finished version. This short is incredible. It's a story based on all the advertisement imagery we witness on the regular. Its all of the ones you can think of. From AOL to KFC to Xbox. The short was an eye opener because we really are bombarded with logos and slogans and jingles. It was just hilarious to see Ronald McDonald, the antagonist of the plot, be stopped by a huge Weight Watchers sign. Ultimately, that was his downfall. It was satirical and witty...IT MADE MR. CLEAN GAY. This was the most predictable of all of the moments in the short. He's a tall, muscular, white guy with one hoop earring and a tight white t-shirt on. We wrote a response or two for it in Writing Cross-Cultures class and that was amusing. A few people wrote exactly what it made them feel..."WTF" and "BAHAHHAHAHA" and dont forget "Dude...Wait, what?". It was a conversation sparker for sure.

Here's what...We, Americans mainly, are constantly attracted by a troth of advertisements all over the media. Be it radio, television, magazines or even the Internet, we are always subject to the newest thing that we might NEED. We are given testimonials, nudity and more just to get us to buy new soap or a car or a pull out couch. Sometimes, we don't even know what we're being sold! Theres a Levi's jeans commercial with quotes from revolutionaries and flash after flash of shirtless white boys hopping fences and girls with long, straight, blond hair flipping their hair, probably trying to catch a glimpse of the digitally enhanced sunrise in the distance. Most of these commercials have nothing to do with the products they're trying to sell...but the weak-minded go on binges to get new eyeliner and new jeans shortly after. I blame the media for a lot...but I blame dumb people for giving in and then complaining about their bills at the end of the month. Here's the lesson...Don't give in to the media and the "shop-till-ya-drop" generational expectations. Don't just buy anything because it's supposed to make you look ten years younger. Don't be a victim.

beGolden

Jahmal

easy A and that...A night to remember

Chance - Meant to be - ness...

I wanted to go to the movies all day saturday. I just wanted to leave my house and go celebrate a little. I'm enjoying life right now...I just wanted to go have fun. A series of events occurred I would have never expected.

For starters, one of my best friends texted me in the midst of my frustration and told me to meet her downtown for coffee. I hopped on a bus, looking good of course, and i arrived at Java's, home of the Kinky Reggae! It was, dead hot in there so we sat outside for a moment. Then we decided to eat Dim Sum next door...The food was incredible. The rolls were perfection and the dumplings...oh god, those dumplings. We laughed a lot and then we left. We walked around a bit and saw a lot of people that we didn't expect to see downtown at 8 at night...After saying high to about 6 friends in a row, we met a young man that, while I was in the shadow, thought I was a girl. He greeted us with "HEY! LADIESS!" My friends died laughing...I cleared my throat and he acknowledged my gender. He was cute, so i let it slide. I pointed him the direction he needed to go and we parted. While crossing the street I almost got hit by more of my friends. They demanded i come back to Java's after i walked my dinner partner to the bus stop. Mind you, I havent scene these guys in 4-5 months or so. I walked my girl to the bus stop and we had a laugh or two...new quotes to share. New insiders. It was great. I got to Java's and we talked for a bit. While there I met a woman and she was incredibly sweet and we had a great discussion. We loved each other's personalities and she said i looked great. She did too. I adore kind people....Correction: I love Java's after dark...For SURE.

The people I was with now wanted to go the movies....Are you joking? Please insert word of the post here... We went on a journey to the movie theatre making FAR too many jokes on the way and even in the theatre. For the record...Easy A was one of the greatest movies ever. I loved it. WE loved it. You should go and see it. I expected it to be good but...I didn't expect it to be incredible. We left....Incredibly humored and dropped off a person in the car. We sat around her fire pit for a bit...Cozy and playing one of my favorite improv games. When it was time to go, the three of us left in the car were relaxing....Winding down from a fabulous night, we were. Finale time. I don't know if you've heard the opening to Life in Technicolor by Coldplay...but. This song was the best ending to a beautiful night, i could ever think so. It was like a Day - gasm.

Here's what...These days aren't always. We don't often experience nights that you wish could last forever. It was beautiful...It was fabulous...It was memorable. Keep the greatest nights in your mind forever. Piece them together like a scrap book in your head. Remember to remember to remember those nights when you wished that dawn didn't come. Remember to remember to remember the nights with dim sum, laughs, a cozy fire and an easy A.

beGolden and remember always

Jahmal

kitchen miracles and that...Thescapist

Appreciation - sensitive awareness..

Last night I baked sugar cookies for my friends at school. I know..."How gay are you, third-grade Jahmal!?" But it's something I enjoy doing! Sometimes, when I'm home alone, I need something to keep my occupied and happy. Sometimes, that's reading. Sometimes, it's dancing. Sometimes, it's baking. My legs were tired and I didn't want to read at the moment, sooooo...I took out some supplies and baked. Cookies Cookies Cookies. Then I frosted...All the while listening to my favourite soft jams. It was fairly magical actually. I put it all away and made my lunch for Monday and...then I found myself lonely. I had some soup for dinner. I ate it alone. I turned off the music. I was stuck in this moment where (Iknowthisisstupidguys) I felt like I was actually alone and that I would be this way for a very long time. It was at this moment that one of my favourite songs came on. This song, the one I want to hear as I die, made me remember how important the little things were. It made me remember all that I've grown from and all that I adore about being home alone. I hopped in the shower and jumped into bed, prepared for lonely nights for a while.

Sure...We all get lonely and sometimes we feel hopeless. But we're not lonely and we're not hopeless. Life goes on in spite of the rough patches we meet along the road. There's a zen to the universe...remember this. Also...Note how excited and appreciative of these simple, everyday things. You should feel similarly, people. The world is full of things, so small and minor, that we hardly notice them. These things are necessary to personal growth. Appreciate all that the world gives you because you could be SO much more unfortunate. Be excited that you're baking and alone....no one there to judge you when you're dancing in your kitchen....Be happy and continue to appreciate. The minor things are the road to awe.

BeGolden

Jahmal