Giving Thanks for Life...

thanks - An expression of gratitude....perhaps to some unknown force.

Last week I received a letter in my locker that said "Fag! You're gonna be killed on your birthday! Look out!". Frightened and worried, i ripped the letter to shreds and carried on with my day. My birthday was Friday...and i got the letter on Wednesday. I didn't think of that until i got home. Still, i refused to let a prank like this consume my week. I refused to tell people until i had a breakdown. I told a few people that i trusted...no school administrators. (they don't handle school bullying well) Each person i told wanted me to have saved the letter but i physically could not keep myself stable with that letter on my person. It was terrifying and i didn't want anything like that ruining my birthday. A councilor found out about the letter through an anonymous message. I told her about it and she told me to keep on my guard and to report anything else that happened. Finally, i cracked. I broke down in one of my favorite teachers rooms...i wrote our school therapist a letter...i told two of my best friends. I felt helpless and completely unsafe and it wasn't until i spoke to one of my mentors that i truly understood what to do. My mentor told me that this might happen throughout my life and i just have to stay on my guard and not let it consume me. My birthday came...i brought in cupcakes...i smiled and laughed...nothing happened at school. Still, i was scared and i was letting it change my mood. I didn't let anything make me happy. I was gonna call it quits...go home and cover myself with a blanket...safe. Then a very close friend took me to an interesting pub...we went upstairs...and a room full of people yelled surprise. The grin stretched across my face. That was the end of my nightmare. Now...I'm giving thanks for life, love, creativity, family, friends, and everyone who is reading this blog.

Don't let anything negative shape your whole disposition. Nothing should have that much power over who you are. Don't suffer alone...tell someone...someone you trust that you're having a problem. That letter was a sign of someones cowardice and ignorance...keep that in mind if anyone sends you some stuff like that. Lastly, give thanks between bites today. There is SOOO much to be thankful for. Have a happy holiday people. : )
beGolden
Jahmal