Monday, December 13, 2010

An ode to one's self...narcissism or band aid?

narcissism - personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness.

Today, I was reading an ode to Imr El - Qais, an early arabic whore. The author wrote an extremely long poem about this man and his hoe-ish escapades. Needless to say, it was intriguing. As a completely unrelated comment/observation, the poem got incredibly hard to follow as Imr El - Qais began using simile to show his greatness. Very precise and interested images were made, but they were also really odd. Anywho, then I come to find that the author is Imr El - Qais. As an assignment, the class was to write an ode of one's self. Some found this exceedingly difficult while others started immediately. I didn't write myself and ode, but I started writing notes about the idea of writing an ode to one's self. Is this a narcissistic practice or something like holding a mirror to one's face?

Write yourself an ode. It shouldn't be difficult because it's YOU that you're writing about. It isn't egotism. It's just something beautiful that will help build your confidence. If you can write about your beauty, then you don't need anyone else to. Sure, it's nice to here it from others, but it's YOU that you'll have to live with forever. Know how beautiful and sacred you are. Write yourself an ode. Take a picture. Draw a portrait. Do it for you! It isn't narcissism...It's love.

Monday, December 6, 2010

stop defining it all...

explication - a detailed explanation of something.

It started to snow on December 1st this year. As a result, winter had started. People had pulled out their coats and stocked up on wool socks and cocoa. Garth Fagan home-season started and the performances were nightly. People got dressed in their favorite clothes and others bought new things to rarely wear after. These events have something in common. They were the most predictable and expected events of December for Rochester. The snow always comes early and stays late. The Fagan dancers always rock the house receive the praise they deserve. All people had to do was watch these things happen and be happy.

Humans don't always function they way they should. While watching the snow fall, people were wondering when it would end. Already, homebodies were wondering if a snow day would come and when Christmas break was. While watching Garth Fagan's brilliant choreography, select audience members where wondering what each movement meant. Critiquing and pondering, I doubt these people were honestly enjoying themselves. Those who question the mortality of snow fall in Rochester will NOT have a pleasant winter.

What's beautiful about snowfall and Garth Fagan dance is that it doesn't need a reason. The beauty int he two is that it's beautiful. If you stop thinking and enjoy, you'll really have fun. I'm always moved by winter and dance because it isn't definable. It's movement and chaos and beauty somehow. Like poetry. Stop defining. Just be taken by the beauty, k? Start to feel and enjoy the place you're at in life. If you keep questioning and critiquing, you'll miss something. Everything can happen. Don't mess a drop.
beGolden and enjoy.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Critical up?

renounce - to address one's abandonment...

My creative writing class is great. I have a passion for my craft, so, naturally, I thrive in it. There are people in my glass that enjoy writing and are passionate as well. There are others that aren't at all passionate about writing. It's hardening, to say the least. Some of us are discouraged from learning and writing because the room is a mess with meaningless chatter. It gets loud. It gets annoying. I approached one of my teachers and addressed the problem and suggested she just move the students around. Assigning seats would stop the comfort that we find in sitting next to people we talk to all the time. Communication would cease for a while because people are uncomfortable talking with people that don't normally associate with. It sounded like a smart a choice. She said no. Because we are a 12th grade class, she said, we should no better. I said, clearly we don't, seeing how everyone and their mother is talking all at once while we are supposed to be silently writing. She walked away and I sat down. It is now clear that there is a bigger problem.

After she left me she went to one side of the room and helped them produce some poetry. She suggested they read other poets and so on. They talk as much as the kids on the other side of the room. She didn't go to them though. They are more aggressive and more vocal regarding their dislike of our teacher. Perhaps in fear or some act of vindictive fury, she doesn't associate with them. She's given up on them and their education in the class. They will fail and the other side will pass because she has their "respect".

Education needs to change a lot, this much has been clear for some time. Part of it is hiring teachers that will commit to the students, their "customers". I've been told that school is a business...Let's treat it like one. Sooo many teachers would be fired if it was noticed how neglectful they are. The abandonment must end at some point. It must. Also, I'm a strong believer that race and social class affects education. It's a sad truth and it shouldn't be like this, but it does. The evidence is clear. Black and Hispanic youth dropout rates have been gradually increasing since the 70s. Statistics are out there...just look! People in the school system have abandoned youth and their education and it needs to end. Let's start with a discussion. Look up some articles! Google Critical Pedagogy! Send this post EVERYWHERE! Take control of your education and that of your children and friends.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Music Be With You...Turn on yo ipods, yo.

sustenance - what keeps you afloat.

Last night, on the brink of sleep I launched out of bed, grabbed a pen and scribbled "Music" on my wrist in the dark. You could imagine that it wasn't too neat. Still, I had this epiphany. I have been amerced in portable music since this time 5 years ago. Everyday I listened to music on my walks to the bus stop or anywhere, actually. I've been developing new tastes and getting new music illegally and otherwise...sue me. Anyway, I really enjoy music and I sorta need it to get through life. I couldn't last without listening to my songs every morning and when I'm alone in my house. In fact...I'm listening to Looking Out by Brandi Carlile right now. I need music everyday! Don't you?

Music is the only thing that can pass into our thoughts without effort. It's something that keeps me afloat. I think it's a good practice to listen to music before you start your day. It sets the mood! I have friends that have dedicated their lived to music. It seems to be essential. Listen to music. Amerce yourself in it and let it take control. It's a good type of meditation, people! Don't just take my word for it...Go ask around. C: It's real!
beGolden and Jam a lil.

Monday, November 8, 2010

taking pride in you...

amour-propre - self love, respect and pride

Today I wrote something that I loved. I often enjoy things that I produce, but to day, in particular, I really enjoyed my short prose poem. Over the weekend, a series of play that young local writers had written, mine included, were performed by professionals. It was fantastic because we all have different styles and points of view. It makes the pieces individually beautiful and colorful. Needless to say, we were all very proud of our pieces. I friend of mine was struggling because an art project he had made was to be presented to a class of 30. It was a rattling thought, I'm sure. The idea of your work being judged by anyone is horrifying. But there's something to be said about being proud of yourself for the things you produce.

Here's what...Whether it's a play, a meal, a painting or a poem...It's something you put your energy into and for that you should be proud. Lots of people don't commit to doing things because they are afraid of being judged. If we all lived in that fear we wouldn't live as comfortably as we do. Ideas that have shaped our world would no longer exist. What kind of work would we live in if we were all afraid? Do it and take pride in your work. Your energy is worth it's weight in gold. Most of us are.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

the baby, the Iphone, the sore throat...

dilliance - waste of time/hesitation

I've had a sore throat for a week today. Yeah...See my excuse is that I don't get sore throats so I don't know when they're usually over. It hurt to swallow and I'm gay...people and their jokes...Anyway, the first message is clear.

Readers...if something is bothering, physically, mentally or emotionally...don't wait for it to get worse before you get help. I'm praying that I don't have mono! But I'm healing sooo...not TOO bothered anymore.

There's a baby waiting to be sent in with his parents. He grabs his mothers iPhone and proceeds to turn it on, unlock it and turn on some music. What the he'll? is right, my dear reader. This is beyond me for sooo many reasons. But don't think that he's a future tech wiz...he spent the next 10 minutes dancing to his gurggles, running in circles, quite literally, and slapping two strange boys he didn't know.

Are we too tech friendly? Have we distilled iPods into our children before morals or vocabulary? That boy couldn't ever speak! But he could put on blink 182 in seconds. Is this the new world? Looks and sounds like something to think about. So ask yourself these questions and let me know.
beGolden and wonder...

Monday, November 1, 2010

Halloween, Hail and Why You're Awesome!

Mettle - the capacity to endure...

Yesterday in Rochacha, it was a dim and cold October night. Just kidding...Yesterday was Halloween! Everyone scrambled to get their outfits on, they applied sweaters when needed and the super-Christians stayed in churches and swapped prayers and candy. The joy that this holiday brings people on. Kids get candy. Parents get exercise. Super power companies get money money money. Everyone goes home feeling good about themselves. Yesterday in Rochacha it hailed. "Trick or Treat!" *put put put* "OUCH! What the F***" Best 10 year old response to anything that I've ever heard. You could imagine that after such a catastrophe, men, women and children would march their tight asses home. NOPE! Candy is SOOO much more important. This is a little sad, dontcha know? But there's a little beauty in it, none-the-less!

If people can muster hail, rain and the likes in pursuit of candy corn and snickers, you can muster a lot. Candy isn't essential to living, and yet people would curse and trudge through wet earth to get to that house with the light on. Ring the door bell people! Get your candy. Endure the world in pursuit of the sweeter things. Nuff said. C:

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Scholarships, bad relationships and how they're connected...

Callousness - Emotional hardening...

So, I know a girl that enjoys her relationship in spite of how terrible it is for her. She's kind, docile and polite. He's a sloppy tart that doesn't treat her right. All of her friends know that he's trash. But she enjoys him...finds comfort in him. Come to think of it, you know her. She's hiding how much he hurts him, or not, and still sticks to him like glue, providing and caring for him while he sits on his ass watching t.v.

My mother has me applying to scholarships and scholarships and scholarships. It's tedious and I sort of put it off. I put WAY to much energy towards my other priorities. The scholarships are going to make my life easier in college. I'm working on them a little each day. Again, it's tedious and frustrating, but it'll help me in the long run.

Some things you just have to grit your teeth through and do it. It's often something that can help you in the future or needs, desperately, to get done. Other things, like sucky boyfriends, don't deserve such attention. Same goes for sucky girlfriends. If it isn't working and you find yourself cringing and wanting to scream on the regular, you might have to get out. There's no point in putting energy into things that you needn't. Conserve, conserve and preserver...unless you shouldn't.
beGolden and use your Energy Well

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Joanna Newsome and why I love her...

pacify - to soothe.

I listen to Joanna Newsome. She's a singer that play the harp and, frankly, I believe she is the greatest lyricist when it comes to music since...I can't even compare her. I adore most of her music and I quote her all the time! She's incredibly inspiring and very poetic. There is one thing...She has a bit of a strange voice. It can be shrill and squeaky and I love her, but some people don't acknowledge her awesomeness because she sounds different. And I say, "But her words, she's awesome!" And you say, "But she sounds weird, ew." Guess what...There's a point in this! Joanna sounds "weird", but what of her words? What of what she has to offer? Do you get it yet?

People are all different and "weird" and they can sound "weird" and they can look "weird" and some stop their perception of people based on the surface. My voice, my body doesn't make me or you or anybody. Joanna is making THOUSANDS because people love her voice, her words and her SELF. You can do anything because someone can and will love you, your voice, your personality and all. God's work isn't done by god...It's done by people. (Ani Difranco)
beGolden and beLoved

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Reach for the stars...Young Arts competition

aspire - to have ambition - a goal.

You hear everyone say, "I'm not doing (BLANK) because it wont do any good for me." A lot of people don't strive for some things because they feel as though they'll fail, ultimately not having achieved anything. This "why do it?" attitude is the worst! People! We have to try things despite those feelings! If everyone chose not to do something because it was hard or because they might fail, no children would be naturally born. Astronauts would have never landed on the moon...or did we?? O.O No one would graduate from high school or, god forbid, COLLEGE! Nothing of meaning would ever get done. I'm fortunate to be surrounded by a lot of progressive and inspired youth, though. Teens in my class submit to different competitions and a lot of us win things! I'm submitting to the national YoungArts competition. It's extremely competitive and very prestigious. I say, bring it on. It cost a little to submit, but, if I win, it'll all be worth while. Even if I get an honorable mention, that would be enough! But I'm reaching...You should too!

Here's what...Get excited, motivated and inspired. Do things because you know how it would feel to win. Do things because you know how it feels to just be apart of things! Put some elbow grease in it! Don't stop because you think you might fail...Strive to be the best. You might surprise yourself and others.

P.S. Wish me luck!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The elephant...Forgiving and forgetting

Subdue - to overcome...bounce back.

So, I have a retraction to make.

A girl I once A girl I always loved got on my nerves last week. I could have just let it go within the hour...but instead I stayed angry. Dear reader...Don't do that. Savannah is the biggest doll I've ever met. Quite honestly, I always thought she were prettier than most people in the school. She always was extremely smart and very articulate. I loved her most because she'd make me smile all the time...Day or night...Monday or Friday. She came to my birthday party two years ago, gave a card (i still have it) and a pendant that I lost. I found it on Friday. Poetry? I think so.

Sometimes the world is telling you stuff. The fact that I found an elephant pendant that I'd lost for two years right after a fight with the girl that gave it to me is a sign if I'd ever seen one. She's the sweetest thing on earth. I'll tell her that. People, here's what...Sometimes it's only righteous to forgive someone. Sometimes you're angry for no reason and why loose a friend? Saying sorry doesn't harm you. So say sorry. Be nicer. I promise you'll smile more and your friends will remember it. heh heh...elephants.
beGolden and forgive

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

For James pt2...of survival, hope and strength.

endurance - to live in spite of...

My friend James has lymphoma. That's the simple and direct approach. I've known him since third grade. He's not the greatest with people...He has difficulty communicating sometimes. It can take him a while to get points across. People picked at him since before I met him. It was difficult being one of his friends, someone for him to lean on, when I was a victim of bullying too, ya know? But I don't think I gave up on him ever. I've always helped when I was needed. I was always someone to talk to....someone familiar. We came into high school together. I feel as though we started to drift. We were on separate paths. I was developing into a less depressed, joyous, budding gay kid. He was developing into a more social person. I see him daily. I say hi in passing. I wonder about him. Ask about him. He's my friend James! We both could be called victims.

I always thought that James was stronger. He never let it show, whatever it was. You could never call him a victim, even now. I, on the other hand, tends to wear my emotions on my face. It's a bit of a challenge to keep moving sometimes when there is always something. There was always something for James, too, but he's stronger than I. Last week, Thursday morning, I found out that my friend has lymphoma. Just something else. He asked me to read a cycle of poems about it...I almost cried then. Not knowing what it was, I googled it. Cancer, right? I balled. I wept. I felt like the worst friend because I hadn't asked. I hadn't been there the whole time. Pitty...more. I couldn't do anything for him now, so I thought....Here's what...

Sometimes these things happen. You may feel as though there's nothing to do. There is something. Support. You can always lend a shoulder, a prayer, a hug....You can always support. When you see something you can do or help with....Do it. Just do it. For James...I know this is something unexpected and it could be eroding your spirit a little. You haven't let it destroy and for that I thank you. You're teaching people, all over the web, now, the power of enduring. You're one of the strongest people I know, James. Stay beautiful and don't let ANYTHING get you down. To all of you...This, too, shall pass. Stay strong. Endure.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Perhaps I'll write it later...ForJames pt.1

Postpone - to put off till a later time.

Today I found out something that shook my core loose...literally. 8 tissues later, I'm sitting before a hissing computer and I know what to write....but I can't. Not till a little later. The wounds are still a little fresh and it's bothersome at the moment. I'll write it later because I need silence and peace first, ya know? So...Here's what.

Fuck the drama and the outside, highschool stupidity. I'd be waisting my energy to dwell on the moron's I'm plagued with when there are more important things to focus on. This week isn't the best. There is a lot to be bothered by, but life will go on. I'm thankful to have my health and my life. It's too short, people. Soak up all of it and drop the petty stuff. You will...I will still thrive knowing that there is love all around me and him...For James.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

opinions, opinions...and not an attack.

Dogmatic - dictatorial, opinionated.

I'm ready for highschool to be over for a lot of reasons. There's the stress of college stuff. SAT's and all that jazz. Mostly, though, because I'm very sick of overly opinionated teens. Highschoolers ADORE to be correct to the point where a lot of them establish opinion as if it were fact. The point isn't whats true anymore...It's just what I think is true which is true and what I think is stupid is wrong. What the hell is wrong with people?? Prime example...There's a piece of art called The Grande Odalisque by Ingres. It's a very old piece about a harem girl. The point of the picture is that she's GORGEOUS in the face. So it's a renowned piece around the world! There's a catch...The Grande Odalisque has about 4 more vertibre than a normal human. Her back extends into space like it was her job. ALSO...Her arm is too long for her body. ALSO, her legs are possissioned in a way that isnt possible for humans. Her legs are wrong. This picture is horrifying...but you don't notice. Those that do hardly care. The point is that the piece is worth more than you, your house, and most of your possessions. It's famous and expensive...Who cares what she looks like?

Your opinion doesn't shape the way everything is. The world goes on even with you wondering about the why and the why and why and the why...Nothing stops because you think it's ugly. You're ONE person. You're ONE individual that doesn't agree. I bet you hundreds of people disagree with YOU. Your opinions aren't fact...So don't push them on people as if there were. Opinions, opinions...

Monday, October 4, 2010

Classroom inspiration...doing it for money?

Priority - Highest or higher importance...

One, snide comment after another today. In the same period, the same girl made another comment. She said that 85 percent of the people in our school, when asked about why they were going to college, would say that they were doing it for the money...oh wow and where do I begin? This'll be short, actually...

Here's what, people...If you're pursuing college ONLY to make money in the future you're a worthless ass. Honestly...There is sooo much more in the world that is priceless and still fabulous and meaningful. College is a place where you experience and grow as a person. You meet people...You find yourself more. What could compare to a forum where you can meet people like you and vibe and grow with them. You don't get that from highschool...You're still finding what you want to find. College is for you to find YOU and others, too. The world is a big pretty place...Everything can happen. Keep your eye's wide open...Money is good, but there are better things.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

...I'd rather have him happy. Dear mother.

Motherhood - the kinship relationship between an offspring and the mother.

I used to be the most hyper, excited, happy, touchy-feely, HYPER kid ever. Lots of people loved me for it. I was known by most as the one that wouldn't sit down to save his life. I enjoyed being bubbly most days. There's a thing about me though...I used to be either ecstatic or depressed. If something would get in the way of my happiness abruptly, I didn't know how to handle it. Some of my teacher couldn't my hyper ways...One day, a teacher sat next to my mother I complained about the way I wasn't calm all the time. Mind you, I also went through a long time of depression after being told that I was too hyper and too loud and I talked too much and different and...It was crippling. My mother knew this of course...She knew how fun I was and how depression was for me. So she said...I'd rather have him happy than depressed. And that was that....Dear Mother,

I understand how I used be very different. My emotions were often unstable. I was either HAPPY/EXCITED/HYPER or depressed/sad/angry/upset. My mother would get frustrated with it too, but she knew how crucial it was for me to be happy. I'm fortunate to have a creative, educated, hard working, accepting mother. People everywhere, my mother is the greatest. I'm glad I have her and I'm glad I have her and I'm glad she's there for me. I can only hope that you have someone like that in your life. Everyone's different...Everyone's weird...There will always be someone who loves you even with your faults.
beGolden and happy

Drama fo yo mama...Please keep me out of it.

expendable - Unnecessary...

SOOO...There's someone mad at me right now. Yesterday in a class, two friends and I were talking about a father who we, jokingly, said was gay. We were highlighting all the signs...laughing, havin a good time, ya dig? Then, a girl said something like "Lets not talk about gays again. I'm sick of this topic." Mind you, the last time we talked about gays, it involved one of the "uncomfortable" girl's friends. He came out recently and everyone knew he was gay based on FACTS like, he never kissed one of his "girlfriends" and he was grossed out by heterosexuality. Everyone knew, but she thought that it was unfair to say he was before he came out. Me, being an expert on homosexuals at this point, was appalled by her ignorance and let it go. Also, note that she wasn't apart of the conversation at hand, so it really should disturb her at all. Otherwise...She was being overly dramatic and opinionated. Anyway, I just let her go on and another friend of mine to her left chimed in with a few "right"s and a few "exactly"s...So, I gave her the "bitch, please" look and continued with my day. Today, this girl, who was butting into a conversation with unnecessary comments and jeers saw me and demanded I get her a poptart from where I was getting one. I dropped the grudge after leaving school...But, jokingly, like always, I said "Get it yo self FOO". I chuckled and told her that there was only one...She just stared at me. I didn't really care...So I offered her some cookies that WERE there. She stood up and walked away. I called her name several times, confused, and someone said "He's TALKING to YOU" and she said, "I KNOW!" So here I am...And here's what...

I got to an arts school...I'm VERY used to drama. But sometimes...LEAVE IT ON STAGE. Sometimes, drama isn't necessary...being a jerk just for the sake of making a point is not a smart tactic ever, actually. So, if you're reading this, my good friend, sometimes it isn't that serious. Everyone...Be yourself and stop letting small things affect you. For Christ's sake, don't jump into stuff that doesn't concern you. Avoid drama like the plague...

To those that might recognize this happening...I'm sorry I offend you...if that's possible. Love you S.E.M. and A.W.E.

Monday, September 27, 2010

sometimes it isnt you...taking pride

pride - a sense of ones worth...self-respect

I've been told that it was me for a lot of my life It was me that brought these unfortunate happenings on myself. It was me that made myself upset. People around me always denounced their roles in making me a worse person. People far stronger than me have crashed under this weight. It isn't foolish of me to expect more than i receive though. I've often been the victim. It's a frustrating thing to admit. Then I'm told not to own such a label. I'm not supposed to ever feel victimized. No one is, apparently. I guess it's foolish to be victimized then feel victimized. I've been that it was me for a lot of my life. You probably have too...But here's what...

It isn't always you. It isn't always your fault. It isn't always in your control. Don't be afraid to let it show sometimes. Don't be labeled and don't let anyone tell you how you're supposed to feel. You, I and everyone is beautiful. Take pride in you and all that you are. Don't feel like a victim of the world. You, I and everyone can grow past that and more. Take pride in you.
beGolden and proud.

Friday, September 24, 2010

and ya look GOOD...Doin it for you.

Narcissism - inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.

Most people view narcissism as this excessive, negative love for ones self. BONK. To be narcissistic in a humble manor is a GREAT thing. This is gunna be a short post.

I spent a lot of last night writing and doing some work. I took a shower. I ate great food. Then I planned an outfit for today that made me happy and made me look and feel good. I put it on this morning, look at myself in the mirror...I look stunning and I really DO love myself. Before writing this post, I class for a good word for the opening and they said, Narcissism. Again, I say BONK. I love myself. I love myself because I didn't always love myself. I love myself because if YOU don't love YOURSELF...than who will? I mean, really? So...Here's what.

I love myself. I dress nicely for myself. I go to cafes for myself sometimes! Its good to just do for YOU. Its good to do for others, but you are the most important person in your life. Love yourself. You're ALLOWED to be narcissistic. So do you. Be happy. Love you!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Logo-rama...blaming the media

advertisement - A notice, such as a poster or a paid announcement in the print, broadcast, or electronic media, designed to attract public attention or patronage

Go to youtube and look up Logorama. Try and find the finished version. This short is incredible. It's a story based on all the advertisement imagery we witness on the regular. Its all of the ones you can think of. From AOL to KFC to Xbox. The short was an eye opener because we really are bombarded with logos and slogans and jingles. It was just hilarious to see Ronald McDonald, the antagonist of the plot, be stopped by a huge Weight Watchers sign. Ultimately, that was his downfall. It was satirical and witty...IT MADE MR. CLEAN GAY. This was the most predictable of all of the moments in the short. He's a tall, muscular, white guy with one hoop earring and a tight white t-shirt on. We wrote a response or two for it in Writing Cross-Cultures class and that was amusing. A few people wrote exactly what it made them feel..."WTF" and "BAHAHHAHAHA" and dont forget "Dude...Wait, what?". It was a conversation sparker for sure.

Here's what...We, Americans mainly, are constantly attracted by a troth of advertisements all over the media. Be it radio, television, magazines or even the Internet, we are always subject to the newest thing that we might NEED. We are given testimonials, nudity and more just to get us to buy new soap or a car or a pull out couch. Sometimes, we don't even know what we're being sold! Theres a Levi's jeans commercial with quotes from revolutionaries and flash after flash of shirtless white boys hopping fences and girls with long, straight, blond hair flipping their hair, probably trying to catch a glimpse of the digitally enhanced sunrise in the distance. Most of these commercials have nothing to do with the products they're trying to sell...but the weak-minded go on binges to get new eyeliner and new jeans shortly after. I blame the media for a lot...but I blame dumb people for giving in and then complaining about their bills at the end of the month. Here's the lesson...Don't give in to the media and the "shop-till-ya-drop" generational expectations. Don't just buy anything because it's supposed to make you look ten years younger. Don't be a victim.

Monday, September 20, 2010

easy A and that...A night to remember

Chance - Meant to be - ness...

I wanted to go to the movies all day saturday. I just wanted to leave my house and go celebrate a little. I'm enjoying life right now...I just wanted to go have fun. A series of events occurred I would have never expected.

For starters, one of my best friends texted me in the midst of my frustration and told me to meet her downtown for coffee. I hopped on a bus, looking good of course, and i arrived at Java's, home of the Kinky Reggae! It was, dead hot in there so we sat outside for a moment. Then we decided to eat Dim Sum next door...The food was incredible. The rolls were perfection and the dumplings...oh god, those dumplings. We laughed a lot and then we left. We walked around a bit and saw a lot of people that we didn't expect to see downtown at 8 at night...After saying high to about 6 friends in a row, we met a young man that, while I was in the shadow, thought I was a girl. He greeted us with "HEY! LADIESS!" My friends died laughing...I cleared my throat and he acknowledged my gender. He was cute, so i let it slide. I pointed him the direction he needed to go and we parted. While crossing the street I almost got hit by more of my friends. They demanded i come back to Java's after i walked my dinner partner to the bus stop. Mind you, I havent scene these guys in 4-5 months or so. I walked my girl to the bus stop and we had a laugh or quotes to share. New insiders. It was great. I got to Java's and we talked for a bit. While there I met a woman and she was incredibly sweet and we had a great discussion. We loved each other's personalities and she said i looked great. She did too. I adore kind people....Correction: I love Java's after dark...For SURE.

The people I was with now wanted to go the movies....Are you joking? Please insert word of the post here... We went on a journey to the movie theatre making FAR too many jokes on the way and even in the theatre. For the record...Easy A was one of the greatest movies ever. I loved it. WE loved it. You should go and see it. I expected it to be good but...I didn't expect it to be incredible. We left....Incredibly humored and dropped off a person in the car. We sat around her fire pit for a bit...Cozy and playing one of my favorite improv games. When it was time to go, the three of us left in the car were relaxing....Winding down from a fabulous night, we were. Finale time. I don't know if you've heard the opening to Life in Technicolor by Coldplay...but. This song was the best ending to a beautiful night, i could ever think so. It was like a Day - gasm.

Here's what...These days aren't always. We don't often experience nights that you wish could last forever. It was beautiful...It was fabulous...It was memorable. Keep the greatest nights in your mind forever. Piece them together like a scrap book in your head. Remember to remember to remember those nights when you wished that dawn didn't come. Remember to remember to remember the nights with dim sum, laughs, a cozy fire and an easy A.
beGolden and remember always

kitchen miracles and that...Thescapist

Appreciation - sensitive awareness..

Last night I baked sugar cookies for my friends at school. I know..."How gay are you, third-grade Jahmal!?" But it's something I enjoy doing! Sometimes, when I'm home alone, I need something to keep my occupied and happy. Sometimes, that's reading. Sometimes, it's dancing. Sometimes, it's baking. My legs were tired and I didn't want to read at the moment, sooooo...I took out some supplies and baked. Cookies Cookies Cookies. Then I frosted...All the while listening to my favourite soft jams. It was fairly magical actually. I put it all away and made my lunch for Monday and...then I found myself lonely. I had some soup for dinner. I ate it alone. I turned off the music. I was stuck in this moment where (Iknowthisisstupidguys) I felt like I was actually alone and that I would be this way for a very long time. It was at this moment that one of my favourite songs came on. This song, the one I want to hear as I die, made me remember how important the little things were. It made me remember all that I've grown from and all that I adore about being home alone. I hopped in the shower and jumped into bed, prepared for lonely nights for a while.

Sure...We all get lonely and sometimes we feel hopeless. But we're not lonely and we're not hopeless. Life goes on in spite of the rough patches we meet along the road. There's a zen to the universe...remember this. Also...Note how excited and appreciative of these simple, everyday things. You should feel similarly, people. The world is full of things, so small and minor, that we hardly notice them. These things are necessary to personal growth. Appreciate all that the world gives you because you could be SO much more unfortunate. Be excited that you're baking and one there to judge you when you're dancing in your kitchen....Be happy and continue to appreciate. The minor things are the road to awe.

Friday, September 17, 2010 it healthy?

productive -yielding favorable or useful result; constructive.

My grandfather taught me to play chess when I was young and I felt good enough because i could beat him if he was tired. I continued my life playing when asked to. I joined chess club at two different schools...I entered competitions...I met people through chess....yeah. I'm not all that good...Sometimes I'm alright and i can beat you if you let your guard down but it isn't my sport. I only continued to play it because my granddad taught me. I only played it because i was expected to continue. After being told that i sucked by many different people, I lost confidence and stopped playing besides short games with friends or family. Still, and even now, i felt as though I was groomed to be a great chess player and I was disappointing someone. My grandfather? My family? Then I got over it because I'm not that into my family. I'm not thrilled by the idea of altering myself or feeling bad because I'm not good at something i, actually, don't like to do...I only like watching and admiring chess. I enjoy the principle and the practice of chess but I, personally, don't like to play.

Here's what...Sometimes we do something because we think it's right to. Models starve themselves because they think that being thin is the way to go. Some straight men like football because they were groomed to like it by their dads and uncles and blah. But what does that matter if we don't like the practice we participate in? How could you possibly do something you don't like well?? If you know...let me know. In the mean time...Do what you enjoy doing. Don't do things strictly because you're expected to. Either find a way to enjoy it or just do what you enjoy and nothing else. Sometimes, you don't even have to apologize for that. Do you and that's that.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

to stress and such...and the summerhooker

recurring - To happen, come up, or show up again or repeatedly.

It seems as though I have to re-stress an old and looming topic. Yesterday, I saw a girl, maybe of 13, and she was wearing a short skirt, a tank top, legging and holding the newest vogue. Naturally...I stopped in my tracks. I, however, was wearing a thick sweater. Mind you, its 62 degrees Fahrenheit. So, what of this girl who is dressed like a summer hooker and is but 13 years old? What of the fact that, instead of buying a coat for winter/fall, bought those leggings and a new copy of Vogue? Where the hell are her priorities and what season is she living in? This girl probably values trends and fads more than she does her education, the finer things (art and high culture) and prolly doesn't stand out. Many girls her age are choosing to look like GaGa and Beyonce over looking like they have their own styles. But lets not just blame this particular girl for ruining society as we know it...We also have boys. So...on one hand, we have homophobic black boys that sag and wear skinny jeans and, to complete the look, they get mohawks and bleach the tips. Mind you, when gay people and other colored people did was gay and stupid. On the other hand...We have our white stoner crowd that chooses to sag as well only THEY enjoy looking thugged out or mixing the two looks together. Then they speak as though they invented hip hop...poorly...and they adapt to a lot of negative stereotypes placed on black youth. The world as we know it...

So, what can you say about this? That teens are just becoming the puppets of pop culture icons like GaGa and Nicki Minaj? Nope. Frankly, the ones with no individual style or personalities are just not worth anyone's time. There are plenty that enjoy being themselves and being fabulous. The problem is that we are easy to mold...well...those with weaker minds and self confidence. The priorities of some have shifted into stupidity. People have taken on stereotypes and more bad habits and it’s sad. Who's to blame? The media? The kids themselves? Kanye West? Who knows? But I have some good advice. Just be you. Don’t try to blend in with everyone else. Those who strive to "fit in" aren't people that are valued in today’s culture. Be the one to wear a meat dress to an award ceremony (GaGa reference)...But don't do it because someone did it first! Set your own trends! Be your own person!



Wednesday, September 15, 2010

the flower bracelet...letting it come to you.

Self - Fulfilling Prophecy - a concept developed by Robert K. Merton to explain how a belief or expectation, whether correct or not, affects the outcome of a situation or the way a person (or group) will behave.

On Sunday i was searching for a collection of bracelets i own. I have a blue eye, a red eye and a white flower. Blue for peace. Fire for drive. flower for purity. I was searching, fairly desperately at first, for the white flower. Now, do note that i used to have a problem with losing things and it bothered me that i might have restarted an old habit. Also note that a less happy and wise Jahmal B. Golden would break down, cry and go to sleep. I'd dwell on it until it gushed out of my eyes...but I've evolved past that. Instead i told myself that I'd find it. I told myself that I'd find it. I calmed myself before i could emote. It feels better to just relax. Besides...I had something else to be doing. So I walked away from my jewelry box and went to dinner with my mother. Her birthday dinner. I did all i could to calm down and i dedicated a lot of energy to my mother that night. Monday morning, I was scrambling to find something to wear. Clothes...flying. Hats...Tossed. I assembled something i liked but i needed a sweater to go with it. I reach in my closet and pick a gray of my favorites in face. I sling it on and i want out of my house to get to the bus stop. I look at my bare wrist and reach in the sweater pockets to cover them. There it was...purity.

Sometimes it's necessary to let it air out a little. Sometimes it's crucial to just step away from a situation for a moment and let whatever happens happens. Sometimes its important to let your angels step in. If you let the world work it'll surprise you. Give the universe a second and it'll give you what you want. For all that don't know...If you ask for it, it'll come to you. If you you let it come to you, you'll get it. So let it come to you and you'll find it on your front step. Or at a street corner. Or in your pocket...wrapped in a bow.
beGolden and give it some time

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

the moments...Polaroids and you

reminiscent - ending to recall or suggest something in the past.

So...I'm writing a piece or two about the memories I have of my greatest friends. I have one about my friend Laurel and it’s about how I always imagine her in sepia and in autumn. There's a distinct way I remember her and it’s preserved in a Polaroid I’ve never taken of her. Its brilliant actually...your imagination is a camera and Photoshop put together. This'll be short, people.

I hold a lot of people in moments in time where I loved them the most. Its just something people do to remember being happy and people around them being happy. I looked at an old picture this morning of myself from 2nd grade. I was sitting against a wall smiling bigger than ever. It was pleasing to remember me as i was and compare it to how i am now. So, here's where you come in...Don't forget the moments. Don't forget how happy you were and how happy they were. Don't forget their names. Don't forget the locations. Some days you need to remember the happier times to move on. So keep your mind an expanding photo album...for those days when you need it.


Those moments...the Polaroid. the film.

reminiscent - ending to recall or suggest something in the past

So...I'm writing a piece or two about the memories i have of my greatest friends. I have one about my friend Laurel and its about how i always imagine her in sepia and in autumn. There's a distinct way i remember her and its preserved in a Polaroid i've never taken of her. Its brilliant actually...your imagination is a camera and photoshop put together. This'll be short, people.

I hold a lot of people in moments in time where i loved them the most. Its just something people do to remember being happy and people around them being happy. I looked at an old picture this morning of myself from 2nd grade. I was sitting against a wall smiling bigger than ever. It was pleasing to remember me as i was and compare it to how i am now. So, here's where you come in...Don't forget the moments. Don't forget how happy you were and how happy they were. Don't forget their names. Don't forget the locations. Some days you need to remember the happier times to move on. So keep your mind an expanding photo album...for those days when you need it.



Monday, September 13, 2010

Dive and hope.

Philophobia - The Fear of falling in love and/or being in love....

So, sometimes i don't believe that the romantic definition of love is exists in a positive light. I feel like there are lots of faults in "liking/loving" someone. There's that period where you loose comfort in your skin because you want to be better for someone else. Then you feel like you're never enough. Its disgusting...Its cruel to your reflection...It does a lot of harm actually! I fell for someone and i discovered, and maybe its just me and the gays, but there was a mess of push-pull. One day, the love was there. The smiles were there. Oh, god, the butterflies. Then...The butterflies were gone because the smiles weren't there either. An "off" day...There were days were i realized that most men are unfortunately ignorant and selfish. But on the other hand...There were still those moments where i loved him and he loved me and there was the joy that came with that. I've caught myself struggling on what to wear when I'm going to see him and that in and of itself...oh my god. I obsess. I question myself. Who would jump, head first or otherwise, into a relationship knowing that there's the inevitability of these things and more. Then...the heartbreak. Then you're in a relationship with reruns and ice cream. Then you fear doing it again.....

With that said...Love sucks miserably. So does that feeling of "ithinkilovehim". But then there's another side. There's the snuggles and the hugs. The kisses, if you're lucky. There's the joy of seeing him again. The excitement around the holidays. The weekends. The gifts, giving and receiving. The affection and the fun. With THAT said...Love RULES. I guess its all worth it...the off and on days. So, whatever you do, don't be afraid. Don't deny yourself the pleasure because of fear. Dive into it because its awesome...Just be prepared and realistic. I'm not being a downer...just know what it is to love and be loved. And finally...note that you may feel as though you aren't enough until he/she tells you so...but you are. You're MORE that that.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Flip it...fml solution

fml - fuck my life...

I've been doing a lot of writing. I've been editing and rewriting and it feels great. I've taken a lot of time out of my day to write and explore my talents. I was asked to present a piece to my class and i was delightfully don't even know. I enjoy presenting to people and that's part of the reason i have this blog. Well...I got to school and i plugged my flash drive in. BTW...My flash drive has all of the new updates I've made this week. I didn't back it up yet. The title and that BTW prolly explained it all. My flash drive wont recognize...I was shocked. This meant that, if my home desktop couldn't recognize it, i would be forced to redo all that i had worked on this week. I would have to face the shoulda coulda woulda...So i shut down. At 9 pm, i sat down and covered my head with my arm. I closed my eyes and tried desperately to sleep and forget. Its a coping thing. Then i got a message from my mother. Yes, people...texts can be inspiration too.

Sometimes life knocks you over the head. Its a greeting thing that some higher force has. Sometimes you spill coffee on your lap...sometimes you step in shit...Sometimes you forget to back up. When this happens you have choices. You could cover your head and try and forget. You can cry and wish that it wouldn't have happened. I, personally, prefer to flip the situation. I chose to change my luck...I'm altering my reality. When i get home at 3:30, I will try to recover my files. If this fails...I'll just do it over. I had fun writing this week...Whats another night of warm clothes, good food and my fingers dancing on a keyboard. I have no real problem here! Sometimes you just have to acknowledge that it isn't that bad. Sometimes you have to change your fml into a ygoi. YGOI - YOU'LL GET OVER IT! That is one of the few truths we have in this world. The only constant in the world is change. So change you or let your circumstances do it for you. Sometimes you just have to change your reality...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Diamonds and water...worth and where you stand.

necessity - an imperative requirement or need for something...

I wasn't thrilled about taking Advanced Placement Economics. I really wasn't...I feared that I would end up hating America more than i already do in a second. It was miserable at first, the thought of amercing myself, for 40 minutes a day, in economics and the study of how scarcity affects people. It was gag worthy...But then i opened the book and i something strange happened. I didn't gag. The book was redundant at certain points but it was interesting. It applied to everything and after reading, i started applying economic theory to everything. Why do people in low economic conditions name their children like this? How can cheating be determined using economics? The book was brilliant and enlightening. I started to actually be excited for going into my AP Eco course! I started the class and i found myself engaging in conversation. I was already discussing and thinking aloud and i continued to absorb. I learned something interesting that struck me to the point of Blog-Post-Gasm. Water is more important than diamonds but diamonds cost more. I jumped out of my seat quite literally actually. What the hell!? People kill each other over diamonds but water is more important and its less expensive. It's worth more in more ways than one. Diamonds are just precious object that people obsess over...Here's the point.

When Christmas comes, for those who celebrate it, the new ipod is not the point. The point is celebrating the birth of a magical Jew. But still, parents leave early from work to get the new cell, shoes, computer...Or else children bitch out and slam doors. Its nauseating! Our values are warped sometimes. We value NEW shoes over any shoes at all. We value the movies over dinner with family. The point is this - The material obsession is the root of your unhappiness. Its nice to have pretty things...I LOVE PRETTY THINGS. But i also love sunsets. I also love people enough to drop the remote to go and see them. I wouldn't cry if my computer broke. Some things are more important. Some things are more necessary. Get your values straight and you'll live a better life. I'd choose water over diamonds. Would you?
BeGolden and honest,

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Beginning....reboot and resetting...

Rebooting - to restart/refresh.

I took the summer off as you all can tell. I took the summer to do some other things...working, photography, partying, hanging out....etc. Now I'm back and there's lots to say. Here we go!

So, I'm a senior in high school now. I'm a creative writing major at an arts school and I've grown as a person SO much. I've become a better writer, friend, thinker, reader and overall person in a year. I've fallen in love...I've fallen out of love. I've had fun and I've cried. I've rushed and I've relaxed and I've discovered the following...I am not intricate nor simple and i love it. I am an exceedingly unique person and i wont explain me for anyone. Why do you care? Because you are the same. You are not someone to just figure out and you should let people know that. You are your own person and you should be treated as such. Everyone is beautiful in some light but everyone's truth changes colour depending on the atmosphere. We have much to learn of people even though we've been around them forever. There are many lessons we much learn to make it in the world...I'm one of the people who supplies the lessons. I teach based on my experience and I'd like to think that I'm good at what i do. So lemme give you the first lesson of a new school year...or just a new year in life.

Summer is a time or relaxation and fun. Its a time of scrambling for comfort and rejecting all that isn't comfortable. We play. We laugh. We eat. We enjoy. But then fall comes. Fall is a time for relaxation too...but a different kind. Its a time to find a different type of comfort in sweaters and scarves. Its a time to prepare for winter and enjoy the changes that are happening around us. It's a time to reflect...for we change like the leaves in autumn. This is a fabulous part of life...being able to just evolve when we put our minds to it. Well...PUT YOUR MINDS TO IT! A little change is a good sometimes. In other news...School has started for some and we have to change our ways of thinking. It's no longer time for short shorts and beach parties. Its a time for learning and education for most of our day. This isn't a terrible thing...Its good to learn!! But just know that we have to transfer our energy into a different place.

Autumn is a new season...Its a new season for the earth and a new season for you. So...Go experience and grow! Start something new! Get a new positive habit and do what is necessary. Be happy and watch the earth change around you. A season can pass in a second. So can you. So take advantage.
BeGOLDEN and grow

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

the end is relax.

whythefuckisntitoveryet - stress of the end of the year.

I'm sitting here in a class full of over or under achievers. So...I'm caught in the middle. Some things i focus on more than others because some things are more relevant or important than others. Everyone knows that the blunt of western education is a joke...Most of high school is fail...We're stuffed with bullshit (ew) that we will never need. Geometry, physics, chemistry...Its dumb, seriously. I'm all for English, some history and art classes but get real! The crap we're learning is meaningless and its just taking up space. I wish it were over. I wish to move into college where things are less annoying and more meaningful. I'll finally have a control over my education and that would be excellent. But still...We're in high school. The drama. The chaos. The bullshit. The lack of control. So whythefuckisntitoveryet....This is the common feeling/saying of your last couple days of the school year. But lets move onto the point.

People...High school is almost through. The stress is almost over. Just relax a little. Sure, there is bunches left to do and worry about, but just think of this. There are two and a half months of break coming up. tastes so sweet! We're almost out for another year. For the college kids...Your breaks may be different, but you're prolly almost out too. And I'm sure its difficult to be in college but...It ain't NUTHIN compared to high school. There are new stresses....But I can find a BUNCH that would trade them.
beGolden and BREATHE

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

not just chocolates...cont.

Indulge - We already covered this...

Also...I tripped and fell on 3 dollars today. It was incredible! Serious luck thing workin! : ) With that money...I bought myself a coke and a big chocolate chip cookie! It wasnt a HUGE and WISE purchase...Still, it felt good.

Sometimes you just gotta live. Buy yourself something small. When you are blessed with little bits of money...If you can afford it...get yourself something. Take some money out of the money you earn and indulge! It feels great and it makes for a healthier you! Give a little back to yourself. Give a little back to yourself...It makes a big difference.
beGolden and indulge (on occasion)

not just chocolates...

Indulge - To allow oneself unrestrained gratification.

The theme of indulging has come up a few times in my life, of late. I realize that I've been doing something kinda wrong. I go to the cafe and meet a friend. I cant seem to go to the art gallery with out company. I kinda have become dependent on the 'social' aspect of fun. I cant do fun things without friends quite often. So...I decided to go to a festival here in Rochester ALONE! (duh duh duuuuuuhhhh...yeah) I thought it might be a little frustrating and i thought I'd feel lonely. Instead...I had an INCREDIBLE time! I even saw some friends. It was superb. I went to a place, alone, and i made it as fun as i could...ALONE! I bought sweets and at the alone. I got myself a new pendent. I had fun with myself. That was great...The point....

Sometimes, you need to just do fun and great things for YOURSELF. Sometimes its good to just go to the library alone and sit in silence. Its good to go for a walk and absorb all that's happening around you. Sometimes its good to just enjoy yourself...So go out and have a little fun by yourself. You don't look pathetic...You're doing it for you and THAT is a great thing. So go get yourself something nice! Something BIG! Not just....well...I already used it in the title.

beGolden, laugh, smile and be happy with you!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

An apple a day....

Self-Preservation - the act of preserving one's self...first law of nature.

I've been putting a few unhealthy habits and activities to rest. Of late i know i have to focus on myself way more. I plan on going to a museum/art gallery. I'm going to see a play alone. I'm going to sit in a coffee shop and read. My life is too precious. Time to take better care, ya know? Sooo...I have a task for my readers.

You know how the doctor used to give you a sticker after your shot or whatever. You'd ask your mother why on the drive home and she'd say "If you just ate your apple a day..." or something like that. Yeah. You keep yourself out of mental hospitals if you keep time for yourself. Don't forget your apples. But don't forget your mental/spiritual health. Honor your reflection. Preserve yourself and follow one law more than any other. SELF Preservation...
beGolden and live well

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

have you ever been shaken?...Ode to Breadloaf.

Ode - a poem written to a person or thing...only this isn't a poem...

So, I was invited to a young writers conference in New England. I was sitting in the airport and I turned to see a girl of 16 looking lost and confused. She was here for the same reason. I approached and started conversation. Friends immediately. Then, another girl with a huge pillow and blanket walked past with the same look on her face. We approached her. Friends instantly. We ate potato skins...We talked...We walked...We waited for the others to arrive. 4 New Yorkers got off a plane. 1 of which we didn't talk to. The other 2 boys and girl were friendly and sweet. We learned lots about each other. We talked the whole drive to the campus. Jokes where made..."Can't I like...exist"...(insider)...Memories were burned into us. It was a great 4 hours....a LONG great 4 hours. We arrived at the campus and we were terribly late. We settled in our rooms and later met our roommates. Mine was incredible! We hit it off immediately. I met some really gorgeous boys. Then there was ONE other black boy and i thought this loud boy would not be friends with me. I was wrong. An hour with him and we were friends. I met another boy i thought wouldn't be that good of friends with...He shall be called Mr. Sideburns on this blog...I ended up dancing with him on multiple occasions. We exchanged poetry and stories and laughs and memories. We were all writers and we were all REALLY good at what we did. We talked every night for hours...Physics, reality, history, politics....We did it all...not sex though. We started a family. We were the best. We wrote about each other...sung with one another...On the last day of the conference we woke up at 6 and sung songs and loved each other in the glow of the morning. We danced the night before and the night before. I had a crush. Relationships were formed. Gays was great.

So here's what...Don't judge books by their covers. (writing Everyone i met was unique and great. If i had shut myself away from everyone...It would have been so incredible. I fell in love on this trip with more than i dozen people. I started a new family. I wrote some incredible stuff. I was shaken to my core with all of these people. I cried like a baby once. None of this would have happened had i not smiled and showed myself with pride....I miss them now. And i know they miss me. So this is for you all...You all made my life so much better. I have even more people to turn to. This is my Ode to breadloaf...I love you all.
beGolden and know that i love you.

Monday, May 10, 2010

to be me....

birthright - A right, possession, or privilege that is one's due by birth.

Recently i watched a short film about a boy that killed himself because he didn't feel as though he could be himself. He was a gay child and he new that it would be hard just being himself opening. So he drowned himself. Two birthrights were addressed in this short film. The right to live and be your own person and the right to die...It's wrong that in pursuit of one right, the boy chose to observe a more extreme one. It's hard for some people to simply get out of bed every morning. I, personally, know how difficult it is just to walk downtown. I fear what people could do to me because of my self acceptance. I don't like churches anymore. I know that I'm not the only one. At the same time, i never had a closet to hide in. When i realized it myself and accepted and loved myself everyone knew. I got all types of shit for it. Physical and verbal abuse in school outside...same old story..."Gay boy is harassed by peers shortly after 'coming out'..." Only I wasn't the one who killed myself and I pride myself on my strength. I wish more people were more open....Here's the point.

It's hard enough to be different in this country...this world these days. People need support. For all those who don't know...For every different person, there's someone just like you somewhere. If more people were open about it, no one would feel alone. We'd have more people to lean on. No one would ever feel completely secluded. Everyone knows how miserably i want some gay friends!! (pay me no mind...) Know that there is always someone who loves you. There is always someone who would miss you if you disappeared. Some will always need you in their lives. You keep that in mind and so will I.
beGolden and stand out

Friday, April 30, 2010

sorry and hurrah for may!!

May - A hectic month that i will be writing a lot in.

I'm sorry peoples...I've been so busy and annoyed of late. It's been a distraction. I haven't been able to write as much as i want to but i HAVE been writing. I'm sorry peoples...for i have let you down. :C...BUT THINGS WILL GET BETTER. My emotional and business bull is becoming less annoying! I'm getting a grip. Now, I have more energy and more time. Don't worry, dear(s). Jahmal B. Golden is back.

I have a to do list and its making my life sooo much better. I have a golden journal for blog post ideas. I have a stripped journal for to-do's. Try new things and stay organized. : ) It makes the world SOO much more enjoyable.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

You do you....Like a Salad.

Individuality - The aggregate of qualities and characteristics that distinguish one person or thing from others; character

Quickly...I'd like to emphasize on the the things that i really find important. I've written about it before. First...A quote.

I know now that most people are so closely concerned with themselves that they are not aware of their own individuality, I can see myself, and it has helped me to say what I want to say in paint.
Georgia O'Keeffe

I know that i am VERY different from most. I have been told that i am more comfortable with myself. I have been told that i am talented and that i have a bright future about me. I use my individuality in my writing and I've been told that i am a very successful writer. I use my unique experiences, habits and POV's to help others and express myself. We are all very different from each other and everyone can contribute something to the world. The best part of contributing to the world is that you end up contributing to yourself. Your confidence swells. Your life becomes meaningful. You feel an internal transformation. Some people want everyone to be the same. They want America to be a "melting pot". They want the WORLD to be a "melting pot". Here's the point....straight from my AP English Class.

The world is not a melting pot and it will NEVER BE a melting pot simply because we are all different. The earth is more of a tossed salad. Things stick out more. Some things are more colourful and some things are smaller. Other things are out of sight. The best things are the things that look normal but taste incredible. We all have a unique flavour about us and it's the greatest thing when you share your flavour with others. It makes the world a better place. Individuality is the new assimilation. We are all great, different, beautiful people. Share yourself with the world. Add a little more colour. Stand out a little more.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Out like a lamb....

Refresh - make like new; give new life

Its the last day of March...onto the true spring. The flowers are here to stay. The trees are budding. The children have shed their coats. It's incredible. One of my teachers told me that she is amazed every year when she plants seeds in pea pots. Those specks of dust turn into living, breathing flowers and other plants. It's beautiful. Its remarkable. Its breath taking. Now...Here's the point.

Go out and observe the world grow and move beneath your feet. Go out and see the flowers bloom and the trees bud. Breathe in spring and remember childhood. Lay in the grass. Run barefoot. Be happy...It's spring. These are the days that we all must remember. These are the greatest days of our lives. The snow has melted and the earth is pulsing with energy. Feel it swirl beneath you and smile. In like a lion...Out like a lamb.