suppression...and why you shouldnt make my mistake

suppression - the conscious intentional exclusion from consciousness of a thought or feeling

I have preached to my readers about habits and why they are negative. I told you all to break habits before they weave into your personality. I must confess something. Sometimes, I write things to you because i don't want you to go through things that i have. I don't want you to feel the way i feel. My habits are bad ones and i wish i had taken my own advice. I don't handle stress and other negative emotion well. I tend to do things that are counterproductive. One of my major habits is suppression. Sometimes I choose to smile instead of frown before the public. MOST times i wear a smile when I'm stressed or angry or depressed. This actually doesn't feel to bad...until i get home. Until i look at myself or reflect on my day. Until i realize that something is wrong. Then i emote and cry and stress myself out even more. It gets bad sometimes. The worst thing is when i don't reflect or look at myself when i get home. If i don't, it all comes out later. It flows out of me in full force. When that occurs....stay away. It's a sucky habit, ya know. But still its really difficult to break. Here goes the point....

I have a bad habit. It's awful and if i was smart and strong enough, i would have handled it when it started. Instead....I chose to do what felt better temporarily. Emphasis on TEMPORARILY! It sucks so don't do it....it makes your life so much harder. It feels better to emote. It feels better to cry when it hurts. It doesn't feel good when it all comes out at a party or at a trip to the cafe with friends. We all have those days....weeks...months...years....but suppression isn't the way to make it better. Deal with your problems head on...cry when it hurts...scream (in your pillow) when you're angry. Its beautiful to scream...its gorgeous to cry...try it.
beGolden
Jahmal