Monday, March 1, 2010

fillin my life with distractions...keepin me afloat.

distraction - That which diverts attention

February was a sucky month. Lots of stress and frustration from work and school. A lot more from my social life. Sometimes it all gets heavy. This month has just been a testament to surviving and living on in spite of how bad things can get. I've had to deal with a lot of political nonsense and then i have to deal with school work. Then i have to deal with friends and maintaining a social life. Lastly, I have to hold myself together no matter where i am. I suppose sometimes, i only cared about holding myself together in the open. Now, i feel its healthier to stay stable outdoors and in the privacy of my room. I made a choice recently. After a sucky couple of weeks...I decided to make myself feel better. I decided to fill my life with distractions. I decided to keep myself happy by filling my life with happy things to keep me from thinking about the bad. Most of my problems are things that i cant completely control...things that i will always have to deal with. Political bullshit...homophobia...friends/family...education...work. These are things that i will have to live with. So, instead of just upsetting myself, I'll surround myself with the happier things to keep me from tumbling.

THIS WEEKEND I....
1. Had a snow day and hung out with some of my best friends.....
2. Hung out with more friends the next day...and i cooked.
3. I wrote and read a lot of poetry...lots of that of late. : )
4. I smiled more than i could count.
5. I made memories and wrote them all down....
6. I realized that i will give my life to a pianist......Something to look forward to.

Here is my message to you lovely people. Life is gonna throw all types of things at you...just because it can. Here is your job...Keep that smile on. Be strong. Live on. : ) There is so much happiness in this world. Take it in your fists and never let it go. And for all the small things that will always be there....find a few distractions. Put your energy into a better place. Don't waste your energy on the things you can't change. Don't waste you energy on things that SHOULDN'T change. The hard spots in life...are reminders that we're all human and that we don't pull the strings. Some higher power is giving us a message...life is meant for living. So live...
beGolden
Jahmal

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