To whom it may concern....

Binge -A period of unrestrained, immoderate self-indulgence.

Lately...I've been kinda lazy....well...not really. I have a list of new topics that I'm giving more thought to. I don't want to give you my opinion unless i put a lot into consideration...I have you all in mind...trust. I plan on just spilling all of my topics out for all of you to read. But i have a bit of a request....I was hoping that everyone that reads the blog gets an account. I really want to hear you all out to the fullest. Get and account and follow me....i wont lead you anywhere dark and scary. Another thing...Tell you're friends about me and my blog. Honestly, i want to see if anyone else appreciates my work. I really LOVE everyone that's reading my work. It just makes me feel really good. Tell people that might think this is cool...and no bad comments....i bite.
beGolden
Jahmal

kick it...

Habit -A recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition.

I bite my fingers....sick right. I even think its gross. But its a habit. I chew at them and bite my nails off...i quit every once and a while but it all ways comes back. I'm recycling my old habit. They say that in 21 days you can form a habit. Logically it takes that long to replace one bad habit with a good one. I try that sometimes....but i always seem to fail. Its depressing at times but it seems like i only do it when I'm stressed. Its like my trigger. So...when the stress is on...the biting starts. It seems like I'm rambling but there's a point to this. There are worse habits to get into, and most people between 13-17 fall into some very typical teen related bull. Each day, nearly 6,000 children under 18 years of age start smoking; of these, nearly 2,000 will become regular smokers. That's almost 800,000 annually. 18.8 percent of underage drinkers are binge drinkers and 6 percent are heavy drinkers. It takes 21 days to start a habit...even ones as negative as these. You start when you're younger but with age comes more suffering. They just get worse and worse as you get older.
Kick it...now or never.

I have a bad habit too. There are very negative effects this could have on me...but I'm trying to kick it. If you have a bad habit...try your best to break it...god forbid it get worse. Then what?
beGolden
Jahmal

Jackets...some news coverage, please.

Praise -Expression of approval, commendation, or admiration.

Breaking news - Three teens shot by other teens...and there was something about art.
Breaking news - A teen was caught mugging an old lady...and then there was a dance off or something.

Teens deserve something other than the bad stuff. We, as teens, are given a bad rep...we're the hell raisers on the radio and on the news. Someone near my age beat the hell out of a police officer. The same day, a group of teens fund raised for homeless kittens, and such. Of course, that last part wasn't real but that's what happens. We don't get good press because there's to much bull happening elsewhere. 200 hundred kids protest budget cuts in Rochester but the whole damn world stops cause some low-life decides to steal some candy from a Spencer's. Frankly, I'm sick of it. We deserve so much more cause we're sooooooooooo interesting and unique. We're artists and leaders and we don't get on the news because the news focuses on the BS.

I know a group of teens that are agents of social change, some poets, some dancers, some just speakers. They are the ones that should be on the news. They are the ones that should be getting the press. Not the ignorance. Until the ignorance leaves the T.V. screens, show your community that you're not a hell raiser. There is a generation of beauty evolving right now. Someone should be living up to that. We all should be. I am. And behind me are thousands. Join the crowd...we have jackets.
beGolden
Jahmal

Dancing in Your Room...

Normal -The usual or expected state, form, amount, or degree.

That's the definition that I don't agree with.

Jahmal's Normal - What feels natural.

People alter their natural selves to fit into the first definition. They believe that the "norm" is the only way to go. Teens that don't fit the "norm" or the expected stereotypes of a teen are "weird". I've stated in the past that i am not normal by the first definition. I try to go with what feels natural, and it feels lovely. Sure, people like to pick fun at me because I'm the weird one. I don't fit in because i don't follow the stereotypes and that's what makes me good-old Jahmal. People love me because i don't fit in...because I'm not a stereotype...because I'm not "normal". I think that people should join the church of Jahmal's Normal. It feels a lot better and if you follow in my footsteps...you fit in! You fit in with the people that are proudly individual. Our church wears bright colors, dances to fast music in our rooms and stand out in a crowd of normal people. And it feels lovely.

I've said this before...I've pushed this point repeatedly. Don't be afraid to be the odd-ball. Don't be the one caught wearing what everyone else is wearing. Dance wildly in your room and speak up. The ones that stand out are the ones that make this world diverse and colorful. Pick a side...gray or neon. If you find a way to stay in the middle...let me know. I might try that on for size. Diversity makes the world a little less simple. Diversity makes everything better. Wear your individuality well. It makes you YOU! Honor your reflection by looking different from your neighbor.
beGolden
Jahmal

Crash...

Euphoria - A feeling of great happiness or well-being.

I had a lovely day today. After finishing my last exam of the year i decided to do something with a couple friends. While my friends were still testing, i saw some lovely things around me. I saw old crushes and hugged people I've never hugged before. I saw a girl holding a stray kitten with mitten paws ^_^. I saw other really great friends. I saw the clouds move in front of the sun at the right time. A pause in the heat and then it came back win it was needed again. My friends finally arrived and we went to a museum only to find that it was closed. Its alright. We talked about sweet nothing for an hour and waited for our entourage to be complete. Last friend came and an old friend walked by. We discussed lunch like adults...choosing only the best place for it. We walked for a while and arrived at our new hangout. We entered only to hear a waiter tell us that we were expected. Bright smiles lit on our faces as we sat and discussed and ate and drank. We joked and grinned until the plates were empty. We left and stopped in a chocolate shop. Let the chocolate be digested. Shortly after...one of our friends left. He departed with smiles and soft words. We continued to just be teens...joking about all the wrong things that felt right. We walked to familiar places to talk...still joking of course. The day couldn't have been better. Sadly, we had to split up once more...me with two others while another sat on her stoop and waved us sweet goodbyes. We walked and talked words of wisdom and creativity back and forth...passing trees as old as they come. Then we arrived at my stop...a simple goodbye and a hug for two. I crossed a street slowly...and crashed. Not physically...not dramatically...just felt to euphoria slip from me.

When i get extremely euphoric and all i can do is smile, i sometimes witness myself slip into a temporary depression. It's gotten so bad that i cant remember the feelings of happiness i had once felt. When it happens...it's always a bit of a shock. I don't really know what to do with myself. POINT - Some people are like this all the time, and you might have the power to change that. I hope that most people would help a friend through depression just on instinct....but if there's someone else...why not help them too? The point of this post is building relationships with people and looking after each other. When i noticed myself slip from euphoria...i called a friend that i knew would help. Those bond are the ones that really matter...make a couple. It's just the right thing to do. Be a shoulder to lean on and you might just be set for life.
beGOlden
Jahmal

Relationship battles...and why they're stupid.

Mature - Of, relating to, or characteristic of full development, either mental or physical...see grow the hell up...

Relationship feuds. When your friend, or someone in general, comes at you and goes all "I hate your boyfriend! He doesn't deserve you." There are two sides to this that i have to touch on. (This post is about conserving energy) First off, don't waste your energy arguing someone down about YOUR relationship. If they don't like it, they need a life...or a job or something. Don't match their ignorance by challenging them. If you react in the negative, you lose have the battle...true story. Secondly, don't go at someone about their relationship. Its dumb and a serious waste of time and energy. If you really hate them, keep it in your head. Keep it cute...or put it on mute. End of discussion. (this post was inspired by some serious drama that went down today so, bear with me)

Have seen this sort of thing. Some of us have been victims of it. Some of us have even carried out such ignorance in their lives. Just know that its too much. Its just starting and continuing drama and we have enough of that in the world as it is. If you're taking time out of your life to hate on someone elses relationship then you need another hobby. That's just how it is. If its that bad, keep it in your head. Most people learn this in first grade and forget upon entering junior high. This post is dedicated the people that forgot what maturity is. Be aware of your actions..
beGolden
Jahmal

Under pressure...

Judgment - The act or process of judging; the formation of an opinion after consideration or deliberation.

I'm not going to be speaking about David Bowie. I simply want to give another positive message. Peer pressure...sucks don't it. Upon entering high school, some parents give the other talk. The one about the dangers of high school. Some get this at an earlier age. Regardless, peer pressure is always on "the talk" menu. God forbid you get bewitched by the stoners and/or sexually active cool kids and/or party junkies. In all seriousness...it happens. We move into a new environment and get persuaded to do all types of things by the people we trust. It just happens sometimes. Peer pressure may be a cliche...but it isn't a joke. Tons of kids develop very dark habits with their peers. They may not have wanted to in the beginning, but that's where the pressure thing comes in. When kids say "They made me do it!" - Peer Pressure. Also when someone goes "Everyone else is doin it!" - Peer Pressure. Parents should really take that into consideration. There are ways to avoid being sucked into this annoying stereotype.

1. Stay away from the kids with bad habits unless you're trying to help them.
2. Have a strong sense of who you are.
3. Talk to someone if you're under pressure.
4. Know your boundaries.
5. Let people know what your boundaries are.

Peer pressure, again, is a cliche. Don't become a cliche. If you sense that you're under pressure, snap back to reality and reinforce your boundaries on yourself and your peers. Stick with the friends that don't have destructive habits. Keep a strong sense of self and that will be one less issue on your place. Just try to
beGolden - cause you are.
Jahmal

Like oil...

Tolerance - The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others.

Today, on a walk, i was called a faggot. I was stared at and mocked by a group of people that i didn't even know. I asked one of my old friends if they hated gay people. He wondered why i asked and i told him that i was gay. I told him about the people and what they said and he gave me a very important life lesson. The people that beat you down either fear you or envy you. This is something that you're told repeatedly but this time it really sunk for me. This man disregarded that i was gay. He told me that if I felt alright with who i am then everyone that doesn't approve doesn't matter. He pointed out the people that i encountered earlier and told me, bluntly, that those men aren't doing anything with their lives. They are destined to either die or go to jail because they make the wrong decision on the regular. To get home, i walked the same way that i came. Only this time, i was like oil and their words were water.

Somehow, people that hurt you know that you're better than them. Somehow, humans give off an energy that effects everyone they encounter. If your glow is too bright then someone will try break you down. Its sad and true. But today, i learned that words don't hurt if you let them roll off of you. Let your glow burn bright in spite of what haters say. Don't give them the honor of breaking you down. If someone is trying desperately to hurt you, take it as a compliment. You're so great that people around you can feel it. You're haters are just jealous of your glow. Let their ignorance roll off of you.
beGolden
Jahmal

Your Sacred Self...

Sacred - Worthy of respect; venerable.

Self hate is a disease. It's effecting just about 85 - 90% of teens in America. We all are victims of a society that has very specific "beauty" requirements. The thin, clear skinned girl and/or boy that we see on the commercials and in the magazines. The advertisements that scream "you're ugly" to everyone that sees them. We all may not show it in the same way, but we all are effected by them. Some of us just silently question our own beauty. Some of us hurt ourselves. Some of us try our hardest to be what they see on t.v's when NO ONE looks like the people you see in magazines. Read that line again....not only is it true but it is jam packed with alliteration. The "beautiful" people we see on commercials are air-brushed to hell and emaciated. There's no beauty in being transparent. The people we see in the fashion magazines look just like the people lying on hospital beds, dying of malnutrition. That's the beauty that some people are trying force on themselves. Is it worth it. If you know someone like this, shake them and tell them how beautiful they are until you're crying. I've done that before. A friend of mine had trouble seeing how gorgeous she was. I had to stop her one day and force her own beauty on her. I got emotional. I think that my tears finally made her realize. Today, she doesn't even look at fashion magazines. Telling someone that they're beauty might change their life and even save it. If you see the signs, act on them.

For those that don't think that they're beautiful, know this. Beauty is everywhere. Everyone is born beautiful. Honor your own reflection by loving yourself entirely. Beauty is whats in the mirror. You're sacred, by the definition above. So start acting like it. If you know someone that doesn't know that they're sacred...let em know. You never know how much it could help them. Tell 'em to
beGolden
Jahmal

dodging bullets...and other unfortunate things.

Fair - Consistent with rules, logic, or ethics...

Life isn't that definition up there. Its true and you know it. We all have had those days, weeks, months, years where we have been repeatedly slapped in the face with this truth. We move on and later...another slap. Life has guns of grief and we all wish that we could dodge bullets. Life is not pixel perfect. Life isn't sugary and sweet all the time. There's a lot to get pissed about in this reality. We all see it. It's every time you drop something tasty that you were eating. It's every time you were dumped and every time you burned something. It's every sucky experience you've had that you wanted to blame on a god that you probably don't even believe in. The fair life that you might see on t.v. or read in books doesn't exist. But there's a lovely thing about that. In spite of the fact that life can suck ass (for free might i add), there is a bright side. In every turn of fate, there is something to learn from it. Yeah, yeah...i know. That sounds like some bull because sometimes it doesn't appear that there's a lesson. Sometimes the lesson is simply that life isn't fair so you should stop crying and get used to it. If you look hard enough at every situation that you're in, there is definitely something to learn. It can be very complex and it might take you a while, but its there. If there wasn't a reason for everything then scientist would be out of a job. There's a lesson to be learned in every situation and some good to follow the learning of that lesson. You just have to open your eyes and be patient.

Take your time and take in the beauty of every moment...even the sucky moments. Take time to meditate about your day, see if there is anything to be learned or anything that could have been changed to make it better. Work on yourself and you'll see life ease by a little more. Life might even slap a little lighter. Learning to learn from your mistakes is bankable. That's the truth...
beGolden
Jahmal

The Birds, Bees and other unrelated things....

Taboo - A ban or an inhibition resulting from social custom or emotional aversion.

I'm not going to give you the talk....I merely want to discuss something completely natural and yet hushed in society. Sexuality....Humans are one of the most sexual things on this earth. We have sex (as a race) just for the hell of it while animals have sex with the purpose of procreating. We have invented countless ways to do it...most inspired by animals. We have done things sexually (again, as a race) that no animal would even think to do. So here's a very bone-crushing question. Why can't we (as a race) talk about sex openly without feeling gross and uncomfortable? It's just baffling how we (as a race) can do all types of weird and "only human" things and not talk about it. Talking about sex with a friend can be as awkward as telling your mother that you killed a man? Why is it that we can't get over how natural sex is? We (as youth) have been brought up to think that discussing sex is inappropriate and disrespectful. So we move into adult hood thinking that other children shouldn't feel comfortable talking about sex. Its more inappropriate hushing a child that has a question about sexuality. I was under the impression that i could talk to my peers about sex....but apparently, some people my age haven't grown out of that phase of awkwardness. Am i right to find this strange?
How do you feel about it? Let me know.

In the mean time, i give you this. I believe that sex and sexuality is natural. People that don't shouldn't have it. If you cant talk about it...don't partake in it. Don't make it taboo if you aren't mature enough to discuss it yourself. Don't bash children for having questions, don't hate them for being curious. Try understanding..and look in the mirror.
BeGolden
Jahmal

Bullet Trains and Such

masochism - A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.

High school has proven to be one of the most stressful times of my life. It's a time to find who you really are and grow as a person. Its a time to stray from the path that your parents have set for you in hopes that you'll discover who you want to be as an adult. For some...this is not an easy task. Correction - for MOST this is not an easy task. If you've managed to go through high school untouched...you have some higher power on your side. Everyone feels the wrath of high school at one point or another. There is work and friends and a social life and relationships and peer pressure. It all comes at you like a bullet train and you either dodge it completely or stand and take it. Some take their own routes through high school. Teens have a tendency to to do that. Some go off and become one of the careless nice people. Some go off to be the mean people that attack the careless nice people. Some people just take the slow pony their whole way through high school, picking up new and destructive habits on their ride. Some people just breeze through high school, A+'s and all. Others stumble. Some people actually manage to go through their high school life trying all of these different things. I know a boy that used to go through high school as a target. He wanted to be befriended by the wrong people. He took their insults willingly and collected them in his mind. For just about three years of high school, he let people talk about him and hurt him just to feel a little accepted be these people. He had friends, good ones too. But somehow, he would forget about them in a second if his wannabe friends showed up. Now...he knows who his real friends are and though he takes a few steps back every once and a while, he's no longer a masochist. And it feels good.

A lesson for those who don't know this yet...
Know who your friends are. Don't suffer in the pursuit of the "cool" or "popular" kids. It just isn't honoring your reflection. Do right by yourself, if not anyone else. Finding yourself can be hard...but the reward at the end of that long dark tunnel is worth it. And you'll find that out if you haven't already.
beGolden,
Jahmal

A Diary of Sorts...

Blogging - To write entries in, add material to, or maintain a weblog.
like a diary...or something.

My name is Jahmal B. Golden. I'm a writer. I was told that my opinion was interesting and that i should consider becoming a columnist. What better way to prepare than to start blogging. I have kept a notebook since before i could form sentences and i still have all of them. I look back on them for inspiration and such. I'm not average. I don't "fit in" and i like it that way. I love being an individual. I suppose it makes me an interesting person. Most people that blog aren't to normal anyway. So i feel safe in this community. I'll try not to bore my readers with my useless back round in the entries that follow this one. So you can move your cursor away from the x on the right side of your screen. I encourage comments and i love compliments. Try to give me nice comments though...i bite.
Just to give you a taste of what I'm selling here, I'll leave you with a piece of my mind.

Standing out is the new fitting in. Give it a try. In this world of grey suits, try to be the one in neon green shorts...It feels pretty good. For the people that don't like you for that....tell them to go find a field to stand in. Everyday is a new day...make every moment last. If things get tough...find a friend to hug...a tree to sit under...a book to read.
Be Golden,
Jahmal